I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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