She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
