maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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