biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
