you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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