May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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