it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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