I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
