You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
