The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
