me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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