is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
