maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
