Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
