yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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