ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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