her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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