After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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