Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
