I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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