should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
