you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
