Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
