He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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