please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
