If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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