it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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