Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No subtext here. People are naked.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
