I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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