Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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