a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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