You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
