Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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