absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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