Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
