Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
