Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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