I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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