she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
