Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sobbing to NWA
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
