can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
