I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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