you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
