She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
