It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize