Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
