i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just cropdusted the office
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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