so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
