"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize