dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
