No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You're like the curious george of whores
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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