4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
