he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Vodka?
Forever.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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