i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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