I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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