Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
