Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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